Uncontrolled pain

Colleen's pain did not improved over the weekend -despite taking long acting morphine 45mg's every 12 hours. I spoke with her oncologist this morning and decided that she should be admitted for uncontrolled pain. Colleen had not slept well in a few days and when the dog jumped on the couch, it was causing a great deal of pain. Colleen preferred to stay home and suffer, but I told her that( in this day and age), there are many pain control options available and there is no reason to suffer. She was really angry with me- I hope that one day she will understand.I can understand that she did not want to go back to the hospital but suffering just is not an option. It breaks a moms heart to see her child needlessly suffer. One day, I hope she will forgive me. She is currently at children's again. The pain team has placed her on a patient controlled analgesia or pca so that she can give her own pain meds tonight. Please pray that this will be a short admission and her pain will be easily controlled. 

When I think about how unfair it is that a child should suffer in pain, it makes me think about the sacrifice that God made in sending his son to die a horrible death on the cross. What we are experiencing as parents is heart wrenching but pales in comparison to that sacrifice. It makes me reflect on the love that God has for us. We did not deserve such love and still as sinners do not. I am so blessed that God chose me to be his own and has also chosen my immediate family. It is a gift which is truly undeserved and is priceless. 

1 Peter 1:13 to 17 

And who is there to harm you if you prove zealous for what is good? But even if you should suffer for the sake of righteousness, you are blessed. And do not fear their intimidation, and do not be troubled, but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and perseverence; and keep a good conscience so that in the thing in which you are slandered , those who revile your good behavior in Christ may be put to shame. For it is better, if God should will it so, that you suffer for doing what is right rather than for doing what is wrong. For Christ also died for sins once for all, the just for the unjust, in order that he might bring us to God, having been put to death in the flesh, but made alive in the spirit.